As a business coach, mentor and executive I attend a lot of “Get-To-Know-You” type of meetings. Over the past year, it has become clear many business people today are not aware that every initial meeting they have with someone they are being sized up.
This got me wondering why so many of the people I meet in the business world seem to not care of the two things people judge them on immediately.
Those two things are:
- Warmth
- Competence
In other words, people quickly answer two questions when they first meet you:
- Can I trust this person?
- Can I respect this person?
How You Look Matters
Harvard Business School professor Amy Cuddy has been studying first impressions alongside fellow psychologists Susan Fiske and Peter Glick. For more than 15 years they have discovered patterns in these interactions.
Psychologists refer to these dimensions as warmth and competence, respectively, and ideally, you want to be perceived as having both. How you dress reflects how confident you are and that projects warmth and being trustworthy.
Unfortunately, most business people, especially in a professional context, believe competence is the more important factor. They want to first prove they are smart and talented enough to handle your business.
But in fact, warmth, or trustworthiness, is the most important factor in how people evaluate others.
Build Trust First
It makes sense when you consider that in cavemen days it was more important to figure out if your fellow man was going to kill you and steal all your possessions rather than thinking if he was competent enough to build a good fire.
But while competence is highly valued, it is evaluated only after trust is established. And focusing too much on displaying your strength can backfire.
From what I am seeing developing over the past 15 years of initial meetings with people is they tend to dress down for the occasion and attempt to immediately guide the conversation to highlighting their intellect. Neither of these actions they take move me and others to feel they can be trusted.
The intelligence of a person is important but their image is the very first thing a person sees. IF their image, or brand, does not project confidence or professionalism, the viewer starts the shutdown process before the intelligence the person offers can be seen.
I can only hope business people in leadership rolls start to realize the importance of dressing up for initial meetings. How you look to a person is seen a long time before you what you say is heard.
If you are wondering why you are not getting the projects or jobs you are looking for it could be you need to look into the mirror before the next time you go to meet someone. You might just see the answer.
Let me know how I can help.
