I am beginning to think the more you tell Twitterers not to do something the more they want to do it. So, let me turn it around and see if this will help all of us who know how to use Twitter and Social Media get rid of those who do not.
Send Only Links
That is right..just open up the Twitter update screen and place the URL to the most obnoxious and irrelevant site you can find..hopefully it is yours. If that most obnoxious and irrelevant URL on the internet just happens to be to your site of very valuable schemes and scams, then even better. This is what everyone on twitter wants, needs and is looking for, so bring it on. Send at least 10 to 20 at a time and make sure they are all nothing but a link to your site. OH, you can add some comment or a list of keywords that make no sense so the Search Engine spiders can pick it up, but it is not necessary since your existence on twitter is probably only about as long as a day. I would also recommend that you continue to listen closely to those internet gurus who have this wonderful advice. You posting nothing but a link will generate millions of people to hit the Block Button on Twitter putting you completely out of your misery.
Links After a Remark
Yes, the next best way to Twitter fame is to make a remark relevant to a conversation someone is having and then place the URL to your now famous site. To make this easier for you, let me tell you how you can find these conversations…yes, use the search on Twitter and key in the keyword that fits your product or service. This will bring up millions of targets for you to hammer home the need for them to check out your product. Make sure to do this several hundred times during a 24 hour period. If you can hit a Thousand, even better. The traffic to the twitter Block button to block your account will be overwhelming.
Never @reply
The kiss of death to your efforts on Twitter is to @reply to anyone. This action starts a relationship which is totally worthless and a waste of time. Your mission is to get traffic to your site so you can play the odds that someone is really going to purchase something from you or from whoever has put you up to hammering Twitter. To you that @ symbol is your self destruct button. To hit it would prove that your links have some value, so by no means every attempt to carry on a conversation with anyone who follows you. You will get sucked into building a relationship that may lead to that dreaded second and third tier business development network. Yuk!
Use Auto DM’s
On the other hand, you have to have your Auto Direct Message turned on so that same URL can be delightfully sent to anyone who follows you. You don’t want to seem impersonable by not responding to people who follow you even if you really are impersonable or even a BOT. The Auto DM feature is the best thing to every happen to Twitter. It has opened so many doors to giving Tweets the feeling they are responsive to every single person that follows them. And for you, it just opens up another avenue to get that URL to your worthwhile product to another person out to every single person who happens to want more followers. I suggest that you make sure that the Auto DM has nothing but your link, because, heck, that is all the person who is following you is wanting.
Sign Up for Follow Programs
The Twitter Auto DM program plays right into the hands of those Twitter Media experts who tell everyone that if they want to be ‘Someone’ on Twitter then they need to get as many followers as they can and need to follow as many as you can. Yes, wouldn’t that be great to have thousands and thousands of Tweets following you because they need 100k Followers. This just sets up you marketing campaign to lead off with an onslaught of worthwhile links with an Auto DM. Make sure to use your auto DM so more and more Tweets are given the opportunity to find where that Block Button is exactly located on their Twitter Homepage. Some of them need a few thousand Auto DM’s before they find the Block Button and realize the true value of not Automatically Following everyone.
Username with Numbers
Of course any professional Twitterer worth their spam has to have at least 15 or 20 usernames all with some sort of number associated to the username. How else can you keep track of the accounts that get blocked the most if you do not have a number in the username.
Cutesy Avatar
For maximum affect from your Twitter account by all means upload a piece of abstract art, photo of someone jumping through the air or a girl in a bikini, a logo or a cartoon character into your Twitter account avatar. Even better, do not upload one at all. The more obnoxious the avatar the better. Remember, the goal here is to reflect a professional image and to bring to the attention of the world of Twitter, and beyond, that you have absolutely no interest in providing any value what so ever to your existence on Twitter. Never-ever place your photo in the avatar..this leads to relationship building that will just bog you down with meaningful conversations about what you do for a living. Nobody is interested in that carp..it makes too much sense and you are not out here to make sense..you are out here to scam your way to making a buck.
Consume Twitter Media Expert Advice
Do not take my word for all this. Make sure to stop by the thousands of irreputable internet marketing gurus out there who concur in this advice. To make sure they are reputable to his advice look for those who tell you things like..
’Of course the only value Twitter offers you is the uncontrolled ability to inundate Twitter with links to your site. At least 1% of those fools will click on the link and out of that 1% will buy something’
or
‘Your success on the internet is judged by how much money you make. Twitter makes your existence online worthwhile if you follow these simple guidelines’.
You know you have received the best advice of all if they tell you..
’Friends?, there is no value in making a Friend on Twitter. Money is your friend and you make it by following these procedures..’
So I suggest you follow all of this wonderful advice to the letter. I hope this has helped you as it has helped me to know that I have helped you get blocked completely off Twitter. I look forward to helping you out when I get your first post. Good luck and hope you make a trillion.
Absolutely true! Just yesterday, I received at least a half dozen follower requests on Twitter by scantily clad, bikini-totin' babes. It may just be me, but I honestly don't see how I can improve their life – except by perhaps taking them shopping. If people are going to invest themselves and their time into social media, then certainly it is a better use of their time to “play by the rules” and do it correctly.
What a fabulous post Scot! You have touched upon everything that a lot of people do incorrectly and I hope it shines the spotlight on them so that they cower away into the night! If you are going to use Social Media, act like you have a brain in that large head on your shoulders!
I would love to put this on my site as a guest post if you don't mind! Great post!!
John, Sure, love for this to be a guest post on your site.
Scot – very funny, but a serious message that I hope some take note
Andy, Good to hear others feel the same and that it needs to stop.
Twitter has changed A LOT since the beginning of this year. I feel like there are more and more bots following me and it takes more time for me to decide whether to follow someone back. I look for content, transparency, relavancy, and a feeling that I'm connecting with a real person. Your points touch on what I thought were just my pet peeves. Now I know I'm not alone!
Twitter has changed A LOT since the beginning of this year. I feel like there are more and more bots following me and it takes more time for me to decide whether to follow someone back. I look for content, transparency, relavancy, and a feeling that I'm connecting with a real person. Your points touch on what I thought were just my pet peeves. Now I know I'm not alone!